So, I have never been an artist. I come from a long line of crafters and I love gluing stuff to other stuff, but I lack the dedication and skill necessary to actually draw anything, sketch anything or paint anything. Being a fairly “arty” type of person, I have always felt insecure and slightly annoyed by this. My HD-ADD (what I like to call High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder) tends to get in the way of my artistic goals. I have the absolutely rudimentary skills in a lot of things. It’s like having one or two skill points in almost everything but not mastering anything.
This year I am making many drastic changes in my life. I am moving internationally, struggling with chronic illness (I have severe epilepsy) and changing my way of coping with various struggles. I am using art as a way to deal with some of these things. Now, I don’t think I am very good yet. I have had one very basic Zentangle class. I have never had an art class. I have spent less than four hours sketching as of writing this post and making this blog. The thing is… I am going to ALLOW MYSELF TO SUCK. That’s hard for me. I was the straight A kid in school. I have always been the know-it-all, do-it-all. But this I am level zero at, and that oddly feels refreshing and invites exploration. I am going to share my drawings and tangles and crafty bits even when they simply aren’t very good. Why? Because why not? It is an exercise in self esteem, communication and just… being.
I first noticed Zentangle art on Pinterest and loved the diversity of styles I found. I looked up a few tangle tutorials and messed around with those a little. My hands are shaky. Nothing turned out the way I wanted it to, but I found I didn’t care. The action of drawing the tangles actually did produce a mild trance-like state- something I was skeptical about before trying. As a kid, I tended to doodle when I was highly stressed, and it calmed me down. This is similar but better, as the idea of Zentangle (as I understand it) is to not dwell on mistakes, and just go with the flow.
So I am making this personal blog mostly for myself. I hope others enjoy it too. I am still not sure exactly what this blog will be in the future, but for now it is to blog my progress from absolute beginner to… maybe good? We’ll see.